In what way could I improve this short piece?

Ah, another Faustian bargain struck, and the two cents is indeed a familiar figure to those in the know, as well as regulars of the poetry section... Dave, as you describe him, is a familiar figure too! I think that perhaps you should have set the drama in the plains states, perhaps, maybe even on another planet... you know, dome sweet (?) dome... Ian, this is a well-written piece, as far as it goes, but I can understand if you don't want to take my suggestions; why, someone important, perhaps even two chronic whiners, might take offense. If anything, you need to write at greater length, contrary to the earlier suggestions, and though your piece doesn't have the elements I would normally attribute to poetry, I can understand perfectly why it appears here... if poetry holds a mirror up to nature, what could be more... natural? Thanks for this insightful piece, and for your wonderful, sly sense of humor, clearly lost on peasants.